God is always amazing but, in the dull headedness of our
humanity, we are unable to walk in the full realization of just how wonderful
and amazing He really is. Perhaps because
He is “all knowing” about our weaknesses and human frailties, He puts limits,
even when it comes to pouring out His own goodness and blessings into our
lives, so as not to overwhelm us.
Generally speaking, we would not ordinarily think of
periods of grieving as an opportunity to experience the joy of the Lord. Rather, we would think of grieving and
mourning as periods of excruciating pain and sadness, accompanied by an
unbelievable sense of loss. To the natural
mind, even with the Lord to show us the way, the death of a loved one seems to
be more than we can bear. Grief seems to
come in like a heavy cloud of endless fog, surrounding and following us
everywhere we go, as if it is a thick set of woolen clothing which is worn in
the summer heat, but cannot be shed. The
fog of grief can bring with it a weight and density so heavy and thick that it makes
one feel the terror experienced when trapped within a never ending tunnel,
filled with darkness and unsearchable space.
Somehow you are so encapsulated within it; even the voices of your loved
ones seem to be far off in the distance, unable to break through to you, causing
a fear to rise up within your heart, making you feel as though separation from
both the living and the dead is going to be a forever state of existence.
Panic grasps your heart, and fear would tell you that the
breath of life itself is but a thin vapor, soon to be cut off. I speak from experience when I say, that God
can intervene on our behalf, even at times such as these, to lift and even
carry the burden of grief for a time to give a moment of relief as it is
needed. When there seems to be no end
to the solitude and separation from all that is good and right, He will
suddenly spread a sheet of peace that settles over you as a shield against the
sadness, and the sweet presence of the Lord pushes all the darkness aside. The light of the “Son” breaks through the
darkness of the fog, casting His light so bright that it invades every pore of
your body and all that exists around you.
Even the foundations under your feet seem to be permeated with it. Before you have realized what it is, the joy
of the Lord has come in like a flood to sweep you up, above, and beyond the
clouds of darkness which, just the moment before, had seemed so dense and endless.
Has the loss of your loved one, and the grief that it
carried with it, suddenly vanished and become as a distant nightmare? No, the loss is still there, and it really
has happened. Yet, somehow the Lord has
broken through to speak to your heart saying, “Patience, my child, the
separation is real, but it is only for a moment in time, not forever.” The Lord knows how to comfort the heart of
those who are truly His. In His wisdom, He
doesn’t reach out to me in the same way as He would to you, but in a manner
that takes our differences into account.
Maybe the depths of your inner being are more easily reached through
sound, while I may be reached more easily through sight, not the sight of
physical eyes, but the eyes of His Spirit within. Perhaps He will implant a scene of your
loved one as she romps through the glory that is in Heaven; at peace, made
whole, unencumbered by any of the troublesome cares, sorrows, or maladies of
this world, released into the magnificence that can only be found in the realm
of the kingdom of our Lord.
Perhaps the fog of your grief may still try to enter in, attempting
to pull you down, with all its force.
Yet, with time, those dark moments will become less frequent. Do you still miss and love the one that has
gone on before you? Naturally! However, you can no longer be dragged into
the tunnel of darkness and separation. There
will always be a kind of yearning to be joined with your loved one once again,
but somehow it seems to always be accompanied by a gentle and soothing reminder
that your waiting will only be “for a little while longer.” That scene that He enabled you to see, with
the inner eyes of the Spirit, of your loved one so totally happy and healed at last,
you now play and replay, over and over again, whenever the need arises. The realization that she is not suffering but
is experiencing the best part of her life, brings with it a peace and joy that
satisfies your soul. It is that scene
which now springs up as a vivid memory, appearing to be far more real than the
moment of her loss. Your spirit speaks
to the Lord saying, “Now I see; this is that which the Lord has done!” When I was down, He became greater within me
than anything that was in the world. He came
to heal my broken heart, and set my spirit free. He became the Balm of Gilead, a soothing
salve, to heal all my wounds. He
provided His written word, giving me the Bread of life and water from the
Fountain of life, that I may be renewed, and experience His unending mercy and
grace day by day. This is the water
given by Him, which is that spring within, from the Holy Spirit, which never
runs dry, that bubbles and gushes up, filling us to overflowing. (John 4:
14)
As we seek the Lord, through prayer and the reading of His
word, His truth and knowledge enters our head, and then His Spirit writes it on
the tablets of your heart. That word
does not lie there dormant, but bubbles up from the Holy Spirit, the source of
strength and power that has no end.
Through spiritual ears, given unto us by the Holy Spirit, we can hear
Him saying, “Today, my child, you have need of this “truth”, take it with you
that it may do its work within you, to equip you to stand against the sadness
that may try to creep in and tear you down.
And then He causes to bubble up within you a power ball promise as He
speaks to your heart; “The joy of the Lord is your strength. My grace is sufficient
within you to meet your needs, no matter what situations or circumstances may
burst forth into your life. No, you will
not be spared suffering or hardships, but I am with you to help you through
them. So when you may ‘feel’ downhearted,
let it not overtake you, but trust in Me, knowing that as you go through each
moment, I will activate this promise to make you better and stronger than you
were before.” We don’t have to fear
trials, loss, or any earthly thing when we realize that He is going to use all
of it, even the times of hurting, to produce that which is His best for us and
within us.
Even while going through the deep waters of grieving, He
can restore our soul, for He goes through them with us to show us the way. Everything that happens to us, even that
which seems to be bad, can be used to work His purposes in our lives. There is nothing that we have, which we did
not first receive from Him. (I Cor. 4: 7)
Even in grief, we can ask the Lord; “What is it that you would have me
learn and receive from you in and through this? Help me not react as a victim who dwells
upon perceived grievances, such as: Why me Lord; how could you let this happen;
I thought you were a loving God? Instead,
help me to respond to you with a humble and contrite heart that is willing to
be changed: melt me, mold me, and shape me that I may become increasingly more
of you and less of me. Help me to accept
that there are some things which I may never understand until I see you face to
face.”
No, He doesn’t expect us to go through mourning without
tears of grief and sorrow, as if we had a heart of stone, instead of a heart of
flesh. Grief is meant to be for a moment
in time for the healing process to take place within us. However, grief is not meant to be given time
to set up housekeeping, as if your house, or body, was its permanent domain. Its temporary presence can produce patience,
compassion, and a heart that desires to draw ever closer to the Lord; but
allowing it to take root and grow can only produce bitterness, resentment and a
hardened heart which is no longer able to respond to the Lord.
We must not hold tight to grief and make it our
friend. Rather, as the Lord enables us, we
are to release it, and grab hold evermore tightly to the hand of the Lord. Let His love and blessings flood into our
soul as we learn not to dwell on the loss, but to praise and give thanks unto
Him for all that He has given us. We
will see more clearly, not the loss of what we once had, but the blessings that
were brought into our lives through the gift of shared time and loving one
another. We learn not to fret over what
was, but to give Him praise and thanks for all that He has done, is doing, and
will do. How can we possibly stay down
trodden when He is our Hope everlasting?
What has He promised us about mourning, which is to bubble
up from the spring of living waters of the Holy Spirit within? His words of hope come forth: “give unto them
beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the
spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the
planting of the LORD, that He might be glorified!” (Isaiah 61: 3) “We are troubled on every side, yet not
distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not
forsaken,; cast down, but not destroyed; always bearing about in the body the
dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our
body. For we which live are always
delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made
manifest in our mortal flesh.” (II Cor. 4:8 – 11)
Yes, grieving has its purpose for a period of time, but be
not overtaken by it. Remember what the
Lord has taught: this too will pass; He makes all things beautiful in His time;
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are
lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if
there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philip. 4: 8) “But we do not want you to be uninformed,
brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who
have no hope. For since we believe that
Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with Him
those who have fallen asleep.” (I Thess. 4: 13, 14) Every time you feel that yearning to see your
loved one tugging at your heart again, listen and you will hear that gentle
soothing voice reminding you; “Only a little while longer, and then you will be
reunited, with her and with me, and this time it will be forever and ever.”
Make sure that you are safe and secure in the faith of the
Lord Jesus Christ. If you have not
already done so, confess your faith in Him as your personal Lord and Savior;
repent of your sins that you may receive the free gift of salvation. Trust in the Lord, that He may carry you
through every trial and tribulation, even your own death or the death of a loved
one. When grief may try to trample you
underfoot with sorrow and pain, turn your thoughts and heart unto the Lord. He
will turn your sorrow into joy, and your tears of grief into praise and
thanksgiving unto Him for all He has done.
He will give unto you the “oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of
praise for the spirit of heaviness.”
Knowing the great love that is poured out upon you, even in grief,
choose to play and replay that wondrous scene of your loved one as she is
welcomed into his heavenly home. As you
do, you too will rejoice and dance in the spirit, if not in body, as King David
danced in joyous abandonment before the Lord.
And as you do, sing out unto the Lord, with all the gusto that is within
you: PRAISE YE THE LORD OUR GOD; HIS
MERCIES SHALL NEVER END!
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